Grateful to Wake 

To wake with an anticipation to experience is a gift worth taking care of. 

To wake with energy and a desire to do, see, feel, and connect is a state of being that we should hold close.

Despite being tired, life’s obligations and unavoidable stress, we should still have a tinge of thrill that we’ve woken up to see another glorious day.

For far too long, waking for me was like straining to force a heavy weight off my chest. I had to push away my angst and anxiety before I could begrudgingly go about the nuances of my day. The thought of my worthlessness followed my every move, mocking my every thought, diminishing any attempt to be positive or find the love.

Clichés repulsed me. Anyone’s advice annoyed me.

The thought of the world being a void of nothingness drained my desire to truly experience… the thought of having no meaning was hard to carry.

Miraculously, I woke up today feeling content with who I am and my world has been painted anew.

In strangers faces I see stories instead of feeling my fabricated judgement reflected back on me. I see my slice of this exhilarating, complex and yet simple world I’ve experienced so far and all there is to come.  I can see again the many gifts I have that too many mothers, sons, daughters, and fathers do not: shelter, warmth, clean air/water, health, education, friendship, shelter, family and love.❤️

I feel empathy for and inspired by those who have truly suffered a loss or tragedy because I was cascaded into the dark by menial despairs.

There is an immeasurable strength in those who have suffered and continue to foster love, to come back from the dark. 

I have a new perspective and eagerness to hold onto this light, to nurture it and make sure it stays close when I come face to face with whatever is to come.

Nothing radical has changed in my life. My continuance to do the tiniest things that make me happy has reignited my small flicker of a flame I have inside. The love and persistence of those I hold close have helped me come back.

The beauty of nature is the surest sign that there is something larger than ourselves and that the world is a good place.

It’s comforting to know that I exist on a giant rock floating in space that is absolute beauty.

How can we have no meaning? This beauty of the world is not an accident. 

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For those of you feeling heavy, I hope you pursue the little things that make you happy and welcome loved ones.

Hopefully you’re not in the “annoyed by clichés phase” but I have to do it…

The sun will rise tomorrow. 🙂 

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“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat the sunrise or hope.” – Bernard Williams

Can you relate to my experiences? What have you done to come back from the dark? I would love to hear your story!

With Love, 

Kaitlyn 🖤💜🖤

2 thoughts on “Grateful to Wake 

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