The Clock Ticks and Fear Fades

Conclusion #1: Time is a bitch that you have to love.

The day I turned 25, time seemed like a rock in my chest, lump in my throat and the fuel to my thoughts that I could never tame. I noticed myself becoming angry at nothing, dreading waking up, avoiding friends, and things I’ve always loved. I found myself in a grey cloud of life. I felt like the real life version of Eeyore, Ursula and Miss Hannigan all merged into one weird person. I found myself noticing and feeling all of the bad news in the world instead of looking for the good.

I didn’t even want to smile at strangers anymore  – WHO WAS I BECOMING?!

I have a million and one things to be thankful for. Why am I such a baby? Why can’t I be tough or resilient? Why can’t I just be happy with a good Netflix series, a warm bed to sleep in, people who love me and decent conversations?

Conclusion #2: People who are kind to strangers are the best type of people in the world.

As I reveled in my pity party within my day-to-day life I oddly found sparks of light and happiness in conversations had with strangers at the gym, waiting in line, making coffee.  I had pushed away my friends and family because I felt like a burden. Everyone is struggling and no one has time for my menial issues.

From chats with strangers, I found that genuine kindness and caring for fellow humans exists. I found that time is not the ruler for everyone and that there is always time to be kind and do what makes you happy.

Like take lots of pictures of your adorable dog….

17203013_10208771781561490_5843035595080250261_n

Fur Child, Cheyenne

Strangers scared away my EeyoreHanniganUrsula catastrophe of a personality. Strangers helped to turn on my light. Thank you, strangers. You’ve saved the world from EeyoreHanniganUrsula.

Conclusion #3: Happiness exists within and time really isn’t a bitch.

Happiness is something that I create; no one else dictates how I create that. Time is a beautiful thing and there is no other way to be then positive, loving and appreciative of every moment. Without the burden of time ending, we would never be able to cherish the moments we have.

There will be times when I want to punch a wall, cry myself to sleep or eat like I’m going into hibernation and that’s OK too.

We’re all weird little humans trying to make the best of the clock. 

FINAL CONCLUSION: Be a kind stranger.

I’ll be using this blog to vent my overly dramatic perceptions of life and the journey to happiness. This blog also relieves my friends and family with having to listen to ALL of my overly analytical thoughts (you’re welcome) – you’ll still have to listen to some though.

I’m also aspiring to be a Certified Personal Trainer, Tiny Home Owner and more than mediocre photographer of nature.

Stick around for the train wreck.

Here’s another picture of Cheyenne taken at Greenwell17757275_10208917352760679_2726523953618066988_n